Babies or Big Boys?

My babies are growing up! Case in point: they are not "babies" anymore, though every mother knows their children will always be their babies no matter how old they get.

It dawned on me when I got a note home about some activities planned for Nathan's last day of school. I realized that was only a little over a month away. In just over a month I will have a first grader! How on earth did that happen? It seems like yesterday we brought him home from the hospital. How did my precious newborn turn into an almost-first-grader? I must have blinked and missed that.

My moment with Matthew came when I changed a dirty diaper yesterday and I realized that it was the first one I'd had to do in a couple weeks. He's a big boy! He doesn't need diaper changes very often because he doesn't wear diapers very often and when he does he usually keeps them clean and dry. I got a little sad when I realized my diaper changing days are almost over. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic to not have to do that all the time, it's not the most pleasant job in the world, but it means my Matty is getting big.

I just don't know how to feel about them growing up. One part of me is so excited to see the things they will do and the men they will become. But another part of me wants to keep them babies forever and ever. It's so bittersweet. I miss them being tiny cuddly newborns and the nervous and excited feeling of wondering what it would be like to raise them and if we'd be good parents. When Nathan was born I had zero experience with babies. I mean zero! I changed a diaper for the first time when I was seven months pregnant with him, it was a friend's baby, and I asked to do it just to make sure I would be able to figure it out when I had my own baby. Obviously I did manage to get it figured out. All those little things I wasn't sure I'd be able to do, I did. I remember everything being so frightening though. Would I be able to nurse them properly? Would I bathe them the right way? Would I know if they were crying because they were sick or hungry or tired or wet? I loved every minute of it, but it scared me none the less. But I did it. I know I didn't get everything right all the time, but I did it.

Now we're on to whole new worries and fears. I've got bath time down, and feeding and all the other basics. But now it's on to even more important stuff. Now it's time to mold my boys into the young men I want them to become. Young men who have a servant's heart. Young men who aren't afraid to stand up to others and what they believe in. Young men who are respectful to their elders, their peers and even themselves. Wow, I guess I didn't realize back then what a big job I signed up for! I find myself praying more and more these days. Not only for the safety of my children, but for the wisdom to guide them in the direction they should go. I thank God every day for giving me this opportunity, and no matter how old they get, I will love my "babies".

Titus 3:1-2~Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for any honest work, to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all men.