My summer loss

It's been a rough summer. At the end of May, my grandpa passed away. He had been sick for awhile and it was kind of a relief to know he was no longer in pain. June 8th, as we were getting ready for his funeral, Dustin's cell phone rang. Dustin was in the shower and I was upstairs getting my clothes around so we didn't even bother to answer it. When Dustin got around to checking his voice mail a little while later, it was Grammy (my mom's mom) and she sounded hysterical and told us it was an emergency and to call her right away. I figured it was car trouble or something else she was overreacting to, but I called her back right away.

The news that I got then is the worst news I have ever had...my sister had died. I didn't believe it, there was just no way. She'd been suffering from kidney stones, but otherwise was healthy. It just couldn't be!!! The rest of that afternoon was kind of a blur. I remember functioning only because I had to. Why me? Why now? We arranged for the boys to spend the night at Dustin's parents and went down to see Jana. The whole 2 hour-plus ride was pretty much silent. I wasn't sure I'd be able to go to the hospital and actually see her, I wasn't even sure I wanted to. But I'm glad I did. She looked very peaceful and very angelic. The week to follow was just so surreal. How could my 30-year-old just married sister pass away? But I dealt with it the best I could that week and have continued to do things as planned this summer. I know that's what she would want me to do.

Just as things were starting to get a little easier emotionally, God threw us another curve ball. Dustin's grandpa passed away July 3rd. Again, like my grandpa, this wasn't a complete surprise. He hadn't been in the best of health for a few years and had just found out he had cancer again. But still, any death is difficult, no matter the circumstances. I certainly never would have thought I'd be able to deal with three in about 6 weeks.

I've decided God must think I'm a lot stronger than I give myself credit for. I know He takes people from us for a reason, and while I may not understand that reason now, I will someday. I am getting by. It hasn't been easy for me, but we've been staying busy and trying to move on. So many people have offered so much kindness through all of this and I don't really know where to begin thanking them. So if you are reading this and you know of our hard time and have thought of us, prayed for us, sent us cards, made us dinner, watched the kids, or offered to do anything during this difficult time, please know that it is greatly appreciated.